I'm sure if you've had any hospital experiences at all, you know that the nurses are around much more than the doctors! I have to confess that I have had to learn how to work with the nurse's assistants and the nurses so that I would be considered "part of the team", and not "someone in the way". Believe me, it can go either way in any given situation.
You want the nurses overall to think of you as someone they can trust, that the information you give them will help them in caring for your loved one. So here's a few simple tips. If these are too simple sounding, forgive me -- I know there are some people out there who have had absolutely no hospital experiences at all, so I am mostly speaking to them. Feel free to chime in with ideas of your own!
1. It will be hard, but try to learn the names of the nurses assigned to your spouse. That way when he needs something, you can ask for his specific nurse.
That accomplishes two very important tasks: (1) the nurse feels less anonymous when you interact with her by name. (I had to write the names down in the notebook -- I'm terrible with names!), and (2) his nurse knows you are keeping track of what is happening with your spouse's care, and who is responsible.
2. Keep track of the shift change times and try to avoid calling just as the nurses are trying to give report to the new shift nurses. I kept track of when he had his pain medicine and tried to avoid him being in terrible pain needing medication at shift change time.
This is the most difficult time to get help, and I think it is the most dangerous time for seriously ill patients, as I have had to wait for 30 to 40 minutes a few times for someone to come and help change Tommy's brief, tend to a beeping IV, etc., during shift change.
That being said, check your watch when you have to call the nurse. Keep track of how long it takes to actually get someone in the room -- not just the anonymous "Can I help you?" from the intercom. If your spouse needs something urgent, walk down to the nurse's station and flag someone down. (More than once if you have to!)
3. Smile at the nurses and assistants when they come in and ALWAYS say thank you for everything they do, even if it's something as simple as filling the ice pitcher. These ladies and gentlemen are on their feet for long periods of time, dealing with sick, cranky people, and a little appreciation goes a long way.
4. This is a very difficult time for you and your loved one, and whether he is a "good" patient or not, you be a "good" spouse. In other words, remember what Jesus said: "do unto others as you would have them do unto you.".
5. Remember, that the health care staff are people with children, parents, soccer matches, car trouble, helping children with homework, and all the other events that fill up life. Most likely they do not live at the hospital, and even more likely, the pay they receive is not nearly as much as it should be.
As the professionals come in and out of the room, you have an opportunity to pray for each one by name. This simple act reminds you that we are all God's children and He cares for us all.
I hope these ideas help, and please feel free to add other hints to the list. We are in this Caregiving Marathon together,
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