I think the phrase I hear the most often is "take care of yourself". Certainly it's a good idea, but I have found that is probably the hardest part of this journey.
If your loved one is like mine, caregiving is a 24/7 job. That means that if you want to do "something for yourself", you may be able to schedule it, or it may be something that happens randomly, or as I like to think, serendipitously! (God has a way of opening up a slot of time that is an unexpected blessing.)
What is "taking care of yourself"? I believe it is relieving the day-to-day stress of caregiving, getting away from the house if possible, or setting aside time to do things you like to do. I love to read, and having books on the e-reader has made that much easier for me. The variety of books I have on my Nook allows me to pick and choose whatever suits my time constraints and the mood I'm in. I have fiction, biography, history, devotionals, just to name a few. So if I only have 15 minutes, I can read a bit, or play some Solitaire if that's what I want.
You may be a crafter, or quilter, or love to sew. I'm not talented in that area, but if that was what I needed to do for me, I would clean off my dining room table (a challenge in itself!), and set up my craft/sewing center there. Our house is small, and that's the best place I would have. By doing that, I could work on on-going projects when I had a few minutes. It might look messy, but it would make working in short bursts possible. I'm sure you could come up with some good ideas of your own.
Getting out of the house by myself is one of my challenges. I can leave Tommy alone for a short while, as in going to pick up or drop off one of the grandkids, but leaving him longer than 30 or 40 minutes is not a good idea. So taking care of needed day to day errands can be a challenge.
For instance, just getting a haircut can be a adventure. Scheduling one sometimes works out, so that I can plan to have someone stay with Tommy while I'm away. But often I end up cancelling my appointment because of some crisis that requires my presence. One solution I found: there are a couple of places in town which accept walk-in's, so that has been my go-to when my hair absolutely positively has to have a good hair cut!
Shopping can also be another challenge. It used to be a chore that had to be done, or an opportunity to shop recreationally. Now, getting out to shop requires a bit of planning ahead. When our son got married, his wife and I got in the habit of going on Friday nights to get our groceries. It has become such a habit that I start my next week's list as soon as I get back from Wal-Mart. I keep a pad on the refrigerator so I can jot things down as I think of them. Because we have this "scheduled event", we have figured out ways to have someone with Papa. My grandson is 15, and he is pretty good at helping Papa while we're away. And since Wal-Mart is only 10 minutes from the house, I can get home quickly in an emergency.
And, I have finally figured out that on-line shopping really works! I do enjoy messing around on the computer, searching for information, browsing on Ebay, and this has also been my "go-to". Our Christmas shopping was accomplished earlier than usual because I "let my fingers do the walking". As a result, I enjoyed Christmas and all of the fun parts that go with it because I was not stressed trying to get that last perfect gift.
One other way I "take care of myself" is my part-time job. Until two years ago, I worked full time in the Student Records Office at Campbellsville University. Then, with the realization that Tommy's health was only getting worse, and I could not give my full attention to my job and take care of him, too, I took our open part-time position. The hand writing had been on the wall for at least 3 months, as we knew our part time lady was leaving. I just didn't see it. When God thumped me on the back of the head and said "take the part time job -- what are you waiting for?", the transition was almost seamless.
I'm sure you're wondering how working can be "taking care of me" -- but I am blessed beyond measure in the circle of Christian sisters I work with. We truly care about one another and forgive each other for our quirks! And I truly enjoy the work I do. I feel I am contributing to our office's mission, I enjoy my assigned tasks, and that is true stress relief. I have a precious friend who stays with Tommy while I am at work, and I trust her to keep me informed of anything I need to know while I'm away.
"Coping" involves many facets of our lives, physical, emotional, spiritual. I am blessed in that I have a wonderful support system of friends and family I can reach out to when I'm at the end of my rope. If you stop and look around, you do too. But you have to let them help, even if it seems like something as simple as sitting with your spouse so you can go to Walmart.
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